Friendship, an open letter

Dear Friend,
I don't want to be a hypocrite...I know that I'm not consistent in maintaining long distance friendships, but even if we haven't talked in a few months, I still love you because you are my friend and I know that when we do speak again we will get caught up on each others lives and it will all be good. I say this so that you will know that I'm not making excuses for my behavior, but am acknowledging it and an trying to change it. I assumed that you felt the same way.....but what happens when you assume? That's right, you make an ass of you and me. I still can't make myself believe that you were in town and didn't call me. I expect the others to act foolish and mean, because they are....I never felt the same bond of friendship with them that I thought we had. I need you to know that you hurt me and I don't deserve it. I didn't create or contribute to the pain in the past, I thought that I was standing by you even though I made different decisions. If I were to call you, I think I would only be able to yell and scream and tell you to get over yourself and grow up....but I don't want to hurt you.
But I don't want to be your friend any more either.