Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Trust

Matthew 6: 24-34
24"No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Money.
Do Not Worry
25"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? 26Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life[a]?
28"And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? 31So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' 32For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

I used descibe myself as having trust issues....I just always left a little spot where I would doubt or expect to be let down in some way. But, it's very difficult to have a relationship with Jesus if you can't trust Him and there's no way for faith to grow and stregnthen if you can't trust Him completely. Wow.....easier said then done.

I lost my job last Wednesday, which is frightening as a single parent with no savings account. But, I had been working for a sub-prime mortgage lender for the past 5 years and 2007 has seen many changes and closures for a lot of lenders, so it wasn't a complete shock and I knew that the industry was never going to be long term for me anyway. Being laid off was more of a relief than anything...the other shoe had finally dropped and I could get on with my life. I don't yet know where God will lead me to next or how all of the billls will get paid.....but I just have this complete confidence that it will all get taken care of. It's wierd....I've never felt this before.

Peace

Don't get me wrong, I'm not sitting around all day waiting for God to fill my bank account or have a new job poof out of the air.....but I know that I want to work with children again and have applied for a job that would be awesome, that I happened to see the posting for while looking to see when the library was opened. Was that a God thing? Who knows? I've also had the chance to spend time with the boys, attend back to school nights at their schools with no worries and re-organize and decorate the youth room at church. I know that I don't want to commute to San Diego or Orange County any more.....7 days ago, I didn't have time to even breathe, and now I have all the time in the world.

If my faith wasn't at the place that it is now, I would be freaking out. But trust brings peace and joy...this is such an amazing way to live.

I have a daily devotional book and this passage from Matthew was from the devotional last Saturday. I just love how God knows exactly what I need to hear, when I need to hear it.

I pray that anyone who reads this may feel the same trust and peace that I feel.

2 comments:

Lena said...

I know exactly what you mean. It was a relief & it was really what we needed, in the long run. I love you and I will miss seeing you everyday but I am glad that you are in my life & I value our friendship so much. I hope you know that & how much I care for you!

Anonymous said...

somethng better will come and this is the opportunity to be with your boys. they probably need a little more attention now, they're older and have more things going on everyday. so keep enjoying the moments, because these will be good memories for you and the boys. i love you and kiss those boys for me.

kristi